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Self-esteem is something we can change and when we do, everything in our life changes. None of us deserve anything but the best, we’re all WORTH IT! We just don’t know it yet. Bottom Line? Enough is Enough! Time to stand up for yourself and gain RESPECT for yourself, and others!

What is Self Esteem ?

Self esteem is the opinion you have of yourself. It is based on your attitude to the following:

• Your value as a person
• The job you do
• Your achievements
• How you think others see you
• Your purpose in life
• Your place in the world
• Your potential for success
• Your strengths and weaknesses
• Your social status and how you relate to others
• Your independence or ability to stand on your own feet

Ever “over-think” about anything? Ever make decisions or choices based on what you think other people might think? Ever put up with nonsense or crap you know deep down you don’t deserve, but still put up with it anyway? Then you have Low Self-Esteem!

What is Low Self Esteem?

Low self esteem results from you having a poor self image caused by your attitude to one or more of the above. Example: you do not value the job you do highly or you feel you have no purpose in your life.

What is High Self Esteem?

High self esteem is the opposite! It is a very important aspect of your life. If you have a high level you will be confident, happy and sure of yourself. You would be highly motivated and have the right attitude to succeed.

Self esteem is therefore crucial to you and is a cornerstone of a positive attitude towards living.

• High collars shortens necks

• Tight tops with short sleeves and breast pocket is detracting from your figure. Shoes with straps shortens your legs. The torso can be shortened or narrowed with seam lines, belts, bows, and collars.

• A short necklace can shorten your neck.

• A scarf or belt that hangs down toward the legs will make the legs appear longer. Knitted texture, lace, floras, prints, and plaids can assist in creating an illusion.

• Thicker vertical lines in plaids lengthens and slims.

• Wear a larger print where you want people to look and smaller print where you do not want them to look.

• An all over print can camouflage figure problems, but prints here and there can create a fuller you.

• Prints around the neck and over the shoulder can make your shoulders appear wider. Just wear prints near the parts of your figure’s assets, because they are usually more eye catching than a solid color.

• When buying pants be sure they fit well. Defects are emphasized in a pair of pants that may go unnoticed in a skirt.

PETITE WOMEN

Petite women need to keep clothes in line, slim narrow belts. A slight contrast in colors and fitted lines will flatter you endlessly. Also stay with fabrics that are soft and flowing that fits well. Over powering prints should be avoided.

TALL WOMEN

Tall women can indulge in wide belts, avoid tight clothes and skirts that are to short or to long. Beauty expert Stephanie Faber recommends tall women play down their waist by wearing their blouses over the pants and skirts and avoid tight belts.

HEAVY-HIP TRIANGLE SHAPE

A hip heavy triangle and round full figured women can use clothes with vertical lines to make an up and down illusion. V-necks and skirts with slits up the sides are also good. Clothes with small padded shoulders should be chosen . Too big of pads will make you look like a foot ball player. Wear long tops that go passed your hips. Choose jackets, tailored suits and shirtwaist dresses with straight, classic cuts. Lighter colors on top can be worn, this brings eyes up. Wear dark stockings and avoid patterns. Select vertical, fluid patterns and avoid bulky fabrics. Adopt the just below the knee look in dresses and skirts. Choose accessories close to the same color clothes you are wearing including shoes. This gives your body an unbroken slimmer look. Avoid very wide pinafore skirts. Stay with straight or Aline skirts.

TOP HEAVY WOMEN

The top heavy body types need to choose long jackets without shoulder pads. Do not wear blouses with fancy details and ruffles. Do not wear clingy fabrics on top, choose darker colors on top. Do not wear tops that are to light. Tops with dolman or raglan sleeves and ones that fit loose and slims down to hug the hips and waist are good. Wear pants or skirts that are pleated to bring the eye down. Choose thin materials like cotton, or cotton jersey. One color dressing will also be thinning. Flat shoes are best unless you are short, then wear heels. If your legs are in good shape shorter hem lengths will draw attention away from your top.

RECTANGULAR SHAPED WOMEN

The rectangular type can accentuate curves by wearing jackets or tops that hug the waist, feminine thick sweaters over skirts or pants. Use patterns in your tops or bottoms to add dimension. Round out the neckline with necklaces, scarves and other accessories, and use shoulder pads.

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Mommynotsodearest

Dear AskDesi,
I don’t usually do this kind of thing, but I just thought i’d try it out. My question is concerning my daughter who’s in the 9th grade, and like most 9th Graders, she thinks shes better than everyone else, and knows everything there is to be known. We constantly argue about her not taking care of herself in terms of not showering regularly; she hates taking showers, she hates brushing her hair, she doesn’t use lotion, her skin is always looking dry, and pasty, she wont even use deodorant, and sooner or later if not already her friends are going to say she smells, and as a mother I’m trying to prevent that from happening because I know it would just kill her if anyone said that. I can’t physically forcer her to do anything, and I’m ovbiously not getting through to her the way things are going now…Any suggestions?

Response:

Dear Mommynotsodearest, First and foremost I’m glad you decided to try AskDesi. Your situation with your daughter sounds very familiar to me. It reminds me of Myself when I was in the 9th grade. Come on, we’ve all been through those stages, when we thought we were such “know-it-alls,” so its ok! It’s just a phase, and it will pass. I used to hate it when my mother told me things like that, and even though she was my mom, I used to get embarrassed, and to hide my embarrassment I would get mad at her, and we would argue. Sound familiar? It’s probably what your daughter is going through right now. For the time being, try to be her friend, and tell her in a way she wont get embarrased. And to be quite frank, it may not be the nicest way but sometimes realizing things on your own is the best way to learn. So maybe an embarrassing incident with friends might be the “push” to your daughter understanding what you’ve been trying to tell her.

COnfused101
Dear AskDesi,
My Best friend likes this guy, but shes too shy to confront him about how she feels, so she asked me to help her out. It turns out the guy is not only not insterested in her but he didn’t even know she existed! Now my best friend is mad at me and thinks its my fault he doesn’t like her, and that makes me mad! All I did was try to help, and this is what i get in return…what should I do?

Dear COnfused101,                                                                                                                            I have to say you put yourself in a tough spot. It’s nice of you to want to help you friend, I’m sure shes grateful, no matter how it turned out. My advice to you would to just let it go. Your friend is hurt by the rejection, and took it out on you because you told her the truth. Just walk it out, and don’t think too much about it. Your friend will come around and realize “whatever, its not a big deal” and you can reassure her, shes deserves better!

AskDesi is a free-judgment place, where all you have to do is be yourself 100%! Have fun, and Relax and ask away!